I used to think that when someone lost a parent, the right thing to do was send condolences, offer a few kind words, and hope it helped. I never knew what to say, and honestly, I assumed saying something was enough.
But then I lost both of my parents, just 12 days apart. A double whammy I never saw coming. And suddenly, everything I thought about grief shifted.
When you lose your parents, the world goes quiet in a way you can’t explain. When you lose both in such a short time, the silence hits even harder. People mean well, they really do, but sometimes you don’t want comfort, or conversation, or check-ins. You don’t want advice or platitudes or “stay strong.”
Sometimes you just want to be left alone to breathe through the day. To sit with the reality of it. To cope, however, it makes sense in the moment.
Grief doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs space.
If you’re going through this too, whether you’ve lost one parent or both, I see you. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just surviving something impossible, and that’s enough.
We love you and miss you Mom and Dad - JT
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